I hate exercising. As a gay man I am brutally aware that I am supposed to live and breathe for the gym, refining my body to perfection. First of all, I resent that fact. Acceptance into the gay community depends on your body mass index. Second of all, I blame physical education.
During my middle and high school years, P.E. was the one period of the day that I could be fairly certain bullies would zero me out and proceed to victimize me. I was quiet and shy, as well as just coming to terms with my sexuality and how that made me different from everyone else. Even without the bullying, I was constantly on edge.
There was one incident in particular that I was never able to shake off. I had just finished doing the exercises my obese gym coach (who yelled at us from a rolling chair) had demanded of us and was sitting on the bleachers trying to cool down. All of the sudden, without warning, a kid much older than I was grabbed my head and continued to grind his genitals on top of it as he said, “Do you like that faggot?” I, being me, broke down in such an extreme manner that my parents were called and a whole inquiry was pursued to no end (as far as I know.) Needless to say, the gym never seemed like a safe or welcoming place after that.
And lastly, I find the gym to be intimidating. I am out of shape. This is a fact that I am constantly and painfully aware of. So, when I go to the gym and try to do my thirty minutes on the elliptical and then proceed to try to not die as I walk to the car, I feel like a bit of a failure.
So yes, I hate exercise and I need to get around that because my lack of activity’s beginning to affect my health. Any suggestions?