One of the other issues I’ve grappled with, besides my mental health, is my sexuality. My high school years were spent at a small town high school where there were two openly gay guys and you knew exactly who they were because they were constantly ridiculed. I also grew up with a father that was religious to such an extreme extent that my sexuality eventually lead to the dissolution of our relationship. Such negative experiences made me extremely cautious when discussing that part of myself with others.
I guess I’m bringing my sexuality up because it is another facet of myself that seems to isolate me from everyone else. Not only do I worry about being rejected by others because I can’t seem to get out of my head, to defeat my low self-esteem and social anxiety; I also have to fear rejection because of my sexuality as a gay man, two facets of myself that I neither chose nor necessarily wanted. It makes finding my tribe, a group of friends I can depend and count on, very difficult.